My V-Day Rant...

*ugh* I hate Valentine’s Day. I hate all the candy and cards and smooching folks in the streets that think that just because they’re in love, the whole damn world wants to see it. But since I’ve been bombarded with V-day’s approaching date, I began to think about love..and what I think is the most important love we can have (besides those of us that have kids). I realized that so many folks are out there tryin to get themselves a valentine that they’re ignoring themselves..all I hear is shit like this...

“Damn, I’m so ugly..its no wonder no one loves me.”

“If I just lost a little weight, maybe he’d like me.”

Here’s the reality ~ You take yourself with you wherever you go. Like Naughty by Nature said “No matter where you go, there you are..” So tell me, are you happy with you? Can you look in the mirror and be happy with yourself or do you HAVE to lie to make the image that appears more appealing and pleasing to yourself? Are you in love with you?

Its been a struggle to fully and honestly love myself. I can admit, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. In the past, I’ve lied, cheated and stolen to get what I wanted ~ be it things or people. I’ve degraded myself, humiliated myself and been at the lowest of all lows, all in the quest to gain the almighty dollar. At that point in my life, when I looked into the mirror, I never liked what I saw. I nitpicked ~ at my body, my hair, my face ~ but subconciously what I was really nitpicking at was myself, inside. I didn’t like who I was, or what I’d become ~ I knew that I was better than that, worth more than anything I was doing or thinking ~ but that pain of who I’d become somehow became like a security blanket. It was what I held on to, to keep me in that same negative place.

And then one day, I looked in the mirror and started to cry. It wasn’t that I hated what I looked like, I hated who I was. That was the day that I decided to stop lying to myself. I wasn’t ugly or fat or unworthy of a good, healthy relationship. The reality was that I had to love me. That, regardless of any and everything I had done wrong, I had to forgive myself. I had to simply move on. I couldn’t beat myself up (or let others emotionally abuse me) or feel like no one would like me or love me due to my past. I realized that it didn’t matter what others would think as long as I loved myself.

See, when you love yourself, you treat yourself in a higher regard. You choose the right path for you, and you alone, because you’re in tune with yourself. The world is a better place ~ the energy you put out is more positive ~ so positivity follows you. You may go through trials and tribulations (we all do) but you can handle them, and you know that you can handle them, so even in their outcome you find joy. Peace. Happiness...You find love.

I found that love, in myself, and one day I hope that all my friends and readers of my blog will find it in themselves as well. No matter what ~ you are enough. No matter what you’ve done in the past, it can never define your future, unless you let it. No one is perfect..but you can find that perfect love...in you. And once you do, I guarantee, you’ll find it with another.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Get em Girl!

Ahhh...my dude 50 is the talk of the internet, yet again, due to his beef with Ricky Ross (who will now before referred to in my blog as Officer Rawse..keep up or get left behind folks..lol). 50 can (and will always be guaranteed to) take things to the next level, but no one expected what he did a couple of days ago. Dude not only interviewed Officer Rawse’s baby moms, Tia, about Rawse being a correctional officer, but took her and a friend shopping on NYC’s 5th Avenue AND signed lil mama to a book deal. All of this was meant to (obviously) destroy Officer Rawse’s career and amuse the hell outta 50, but a lot of folks are failing to realize that *Now* Tia is the one that has truly gained from this situation. She came up from nothing to something all in the course of 1 day, but the internet is going crazy..Folks are saying that she’s wrong for talking to 50, that she looked thirsty as hell trying on those furs and that she was nothing but a gutterbutt trollup on the come up. Well, Tia DID come up and more power to her for doing so. How can anyone be mad at her? She followed all codes ~ and in the end, she’s coming out a hell of a lot better than Officer Rawse.

The best part of this saga to me IS that she did follow the code. Tia knew that at the end of the day, talking to 50 might be more problems than what the situation was worth. So she picked up the phone, called her baby daddy and told him what was going on so that he’d be aware. She respected that man when she had no true need to, besides the fact that they have a child together. And Officer Rawse was an asshole to her until the very end, which ended up biting him in his black, obese ass. He encouraged her to talk to 50 and has said in an interview with Miss Info (missinfotv.com) “she’s never made more than $300 a week in her life, so how can I stand in the way of her getting money?”. That asshole way of thinking is where Rawse signed his death certificate and rose her stock all in one fell swoop..lemme show yall how.

Delilah and Solomon. Eve and Adam. Divine Brown and Hugh Grant. All wonderful examples of how chick’s can be a dude’s downfall. Normally in these situations, its a chick tryin to lie, manipulate and deceive in order to get a come up. But In Officer Rawse’s case, that isnt the story because this partially is of his own doing. Fatty tittayballs has really gotten high on his horse, hasn’t he? Talking junk about his baby moms? Dude, if she’s only making $1200 a month, and yall are stlll fighting over child support (which has currently been going on for 2 years), how is she adequately taking care of your child? Did Rawse even care or think about that? While he’s out there, flossin in videos with (allegedly) rented chains, whips, houses and furs, eating steaks and skrimps and shit, his child’s probably eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every night, while his momma provides for him the best way she can, or knows how to. More likely than not, she worrying and wondering about how she’s going to clothe her child, keep lights on in the house and how they’re going to survive while Rawse is out there living the life of rap’s quintessential d-boy. And Officer Rawse makes fun of that? He practically pushed her into the arms of his new (and already known to be) ruthless enemy and try to be greasy with his words all at the same time? Dude really thought that was a good idea?

Well now...Tia came up. Got not only a fur (which admittedly when she put it on, she did look like someone that been starved for 15 years and had just taken her first bite of a ham sammich with cheese and mustard), some Gucci shades and shoes and a free trip to NYC but, Mama got a book deal. She’s gained the ability to provide a better life for her and her son, which has empowered her more than any of us can ever think of. So while everyone’s talking about how wrong she was, I salute her. Tia, your baby daddy was a lying asshole, who gave you to the enemy thinking that you weren’t about shit, wasn’t gonna do shit and wasn’t worth a damn to him. But damn babygirl, you sure showed him the error of his ways..Get em girl!!

Soundtrack of My Life:
I'll Whip Your Head Boy ~ 50
Mafia Music ~ Officer Rawse
Get em Girl ~ Camron
Ladies First ~ Queen Latifah & Monie Love

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