*ugh* I hate Valentine’s Day. I hate all the candy and cards and smooching folks in the streets that think that just because they’re in love, the whole damn world wants to see it. But since I’ve been bombarded with V-day’s approaching date, I began to think about love..and what I think is the most important love we can have (besides those of us that have kids). I realized that so many folks are out there tryin to get themselves a valentine that they’re ignoring themselves..all I hear is shit like this...
“Damn, I’m so ugly..its no wonder no one loves me.”
“If I just lost a little weight, maybe he’d like me.”
Here’s the reality ~ You take yourself with you wherever you go. Like Naughty by Nature said “No matter where you go, there you are..” So tell me, are you happy with you? Can you look in the mirror and be happy with yourself or do you HAVE to lie to make the image that appears more appealing and pleasing to yourself? Are you in love with you?
Its been a struggle to fully and honestly love myself. I can admit, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. In the past, I’ve lied, cheated and stolen to get what I wanted ~ be it things or people. I’ve degraded myself, humiliated myself and been at the lowest of all lows, all in the quest to gain the almighty dollar. At that point in my life, when I looked into the mirror, I never liked what I saw. I nitpicked ~ at my body, my hair, my face ~ but subconciously what I was really nitpicking at was myself, inside. I didn’t like who I was, or what I’d become ~ I knew that I was better than that, worth more than anything I was doing or thinking ~ but that pain of who I’d become somehow became like a security blanket. It was what I held on to, to keep me in that same negative place.
And then one day, I looked in the mirror and started to cry. It wasn’t that I hated what I looked like, I hated who I was. That was the day that I decided to stop lying to myself. I wasn’t ugly or fat or unworthy of a good, healthy relationship. The reality was that I had to love me. That, regardless of any and everything I had done wrong, I had to forgive myself. I had to simply move on. I couldn’t beat myself up (or let others emotionally abuse me) or feel like no one would like me or love me due to my past. I realized that it didn’t matter what others would think as long as I loved myself.
See, when you love yourself, you treat yourself in a higher regard. You choose the right path for you, and you alone, because you’re in tune with yourself. The world is a better place ~ the energy you put out is more positive ~ so positivity follows you. You may go through trials and tribulations (we all do) but you can handle them, and you know that you can handle them, so even in their outcome you find joy. Peace. Happiness...You find love.
I found that love, in myself, and one day I hope that all my friends and readers of my blog will find it in themselves as well. No matter what ~ you are enough. No matter what you’ve done in the past, it can never define your future, unless you let it. No one is perfect..but you can find that perfect love...in you. And once you do, I guarantee, you’ll find it with another.
Happy Valentine’s Day.
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