Can I Live..

Life has been royally kicking me in the ass for the past two weeks.
I've had more difficult conversations..
I've cried more tears..
I've been more scared than I've EVER been in my 25+ years on this earth..
And just when I think it can't get any worse,
it does.

I've lost many friends during this time.
I've been lied to, betrayed, deceived..and even yelled at.
I mistrust those that "supposedly" love me.
And I feel more alone than I've ever felt in my life.

I'm the type thats always there for other people,
so it hurts especially bad when folks aren't there for me.
Or, when they are but it feels like they're doing it just to be nice..
Or just to say that they did it, so that in the future they can ask me for something..

I'm not built like that..
So I cant understand that.
And it hurts even more because of it.
But...

I have seen who is there for me..
Who truly does love me..
I've been sent a couple of angels to let me know to keep the faith,
to show me that good people really are out there.
People that truly love me, and have my best interests at heart..

I was just told by one of those angels that..
"God wouldn't bring someone like me THIS far,
sew together all my wounds,
nurse me back to health..
Just to take me from away from those that love me."

I hope that angel is right..
and I hope that is the lesson to be learned out of all of this.

Soundtrack of My Life:
Can I Live ~ Jay-Z
Regrets '09 ~ Lyriciss
Keep the Faith ~ Faith Evans
Regrets ~ Jay-Z
Everyday Struggle ~ The Notorious BIG