Sign 'O The Times

Technology has truly turned the dating game on one helluva axis. Hell, I'm under the assumption that its truly fucked it all up to be damned. With the inventions of myspace, facebook, email, text messaging, picture mail, google and online dating (*whew*), navigating the hallowed halls of dating and relationships can be quite confusing for even the most experienced of us. And its become even easier to misconstrue a facebook/myspace message or relationship status, or even a simple text message, all because we read so much into them - wondering, "does this mean what I think this means?".

Case in point - before, folks used to give out their number and wait for the receiver of that number to call. That used to cause a lot of waiting by the phone, wondering if so-and-so would call..Either they would or they wouldn't, and the story would move on. Well now? When you meet a person, they may ask for your number first, but more likely than not, they're asking if you have a myspace or facebook page!! Why? So they can befriend you - and see what you've written on that page, your blogs, your pictures and your friends (or the lack thereof..). And if that fails, they can always google you to dig up dirt about you! Some folk (if you don't already know this) decide whether or not to fuck with you, or how they're gonna characterize you (wifey material/jumpoff) just off of that alone! (And I'm not even gonna talk about if you have those pages non-private, because that's just opening up another slithery can of dating worms...)

Also, with myspace/facebook/twitter, its sooooooo much easier for a person to either: a) stalk the shit out of you or b) ignore you completely and wonder what's wrong with you and what you possibly could've done wrong to them. The 1st one, stalking, is self explanatory but kind of ties into the 2nd one, as does self-esteem. How many times have you met someone, went out on a couple of dates with them and then they just disappeared - not answering your calls, texts or emails? In the old days, you'd block your number and call their house, or if you were really kooky, you were one of those drive-past-their-house-on-some-late-night-seek-and-find-mission, remember?? Well, what's most folks logical next step nowadays? If you guessed myspace/facebook/twitter, then you've guessed correctly. With these, you can see if they've logged in recently, if they've updated their status or page, their comments, if they've twitted lately or if (God Forbid) they've deleted you from their friends list. You can literally drive yourself crazy, cyberstalking someone, wondering all the "what ifs" and "whys" - especially if you can (virtually) keep track of their every move everywhere that you go.

My problem mostly lies with some folks who take the punk route - and their 1st convo with you (after that 1st initial meeting) is a myspace/facebook/text message..What part of the game is that? I'm not gonna go back and forth with ANYONE for longer than 5 minutes in any kind of messaging service, just because you wanted to take the "easy" way out to contact me. Man the fuck up and call me! Hear my voice and let me hear yours! Besides, when we talk on the phone, we avoid some of these dreadful miscommunications that can happen through messaging.

Now, I know that I'm not the only one this has happened to..you get a text message during the day from whoever you're crushing on and you're all excited. The convo starts out innocently enough, but then somehow, everything goes left, all because 1 person misunderstood what the other was trying to say and took offense to it. Guess what folks, that ish wouldn't happen if you picked up the damn phone! You can hear and know when someone's joking or when they're serious by the inflections in their voice - their tone - something that no messaging service can ever replicate.

Lets not even get started on picture messaging - what an easy way for you to play yourself! I hold that in the same regard that I hold homemade sex tapes - just don't do it if you don't truly know or trust the person you're sending it to. Or else you can end up like Prodigy on that Summer Jam screen (Hov!) - embarrassed and pissed off because a pic you never thought would surface is now laid bare (most times on the world wide web) for all to see. Besides...isn't it better for someone to see you and your body parts up close & personal anyways??

That, ultimately, is the true problem with all this new, wonderful technology - its made dating so cold. So impersonal. Either you're jumping into something too fast because you feel like you know them (from either google or their myspace/facebook or their twits on twitter) or you're being confuddled by a confusing message...or both. And its made dating even harder, even more confusing..so I beg all of you - no matter how you meet a person, whether electronically or in person, after that 1st initial meeting, if they don't call you - let it go and move on. Call it cold or wrong, but they will call you. Which is exactly the point I'm trying to make.


Soundtrack of My Life:
Call Me ~ Tweet
Talk to Em ~ Young Jeezy
Say f/T-Pain ~ Timbaland
Talkin to Me ~ Amerie