Slaughterhouse ~ Microphone

If you love hip hop, there's no way that you won't love this song..
4 Talented MC's, a crazy beat..a microphone's all they need.
Get into it, dammit.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

New Music...

And since I havent blogged in awhile..
I have to do multiple posts while I'm in the mood.
And yall know that I had to bless you with some new music, right?! here are my new favorites..

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Diggy Simmons ~ Point to Prove (off of the upcoming mixtape, "Flight School")

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R. Kelly f/Tyrese, Robin Thicke & The-Dream ~ Pregnant (off the upcoming cd, "Untitled")

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Lyriciss ~ We Got It (off of the upcoming mixtape, "The Practice")

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Charles Hamilton ~ Charles Hamilton is Back (off of the upcoming mixtape, "Normalcy")



Sometimes you need a little funny...

Sometimes a lil funny is needed
to get you through your day.

I need lots o' funny
to get me thru my life.

if you dont laugh at this..
you officially cant be my friend.


Thursday, October 8, 2009

Rap x The Recession x The Daily Show

The Daily Show's Jon Stewart did a segment
on how the recession is affecting rappers.

If you dont laugh at this, you have NO sense of humor.

"I havent sold a single diamond encrusted glock in about 2 years"


Sunday, September 6, 2009

My First Love..

Embarrassing story time...

As a youngin,
I spent a lot of time at my grandmother's house.
She had a huge hill in her backyard,
and at the top of it where more homes in her development.
I used to go to the top of that hill,
and sing my heart out
pretending that I was someone famous
and down below me was a sea of people,
there to hear me sing to them..
The neighbors at the top of the hill used to love to hear me sing,
they'd ask me to sing certain songs
and bring me cookies,
saying they'd always be a fan of mine
and that I'd make it one day..

As time went on and I grew older,
I gave up that passion for singing
(for many reasons)
but my love of music has stayed the same.
No matter what you're feeling,
or what situation you're going through,
there's a song to match it.
Someone else has felt as you have..
and instantly, you feel a connection,
not only with that artist,
but because you no longer feel alone in whatever you're going thru
during that time in your life.

The power of music is strong.
It can change your whole mood,
from good to bad,
or from bad to good.
It can excite you,
motivate you,
make you think,
make you angry,
make you want to dance,
make you want you to love,
or be loved,
Or make you want to hate
or to just wallow in sadness.

My life would be nothing without music.
It has always been my 1st love.
It has been there with me
through all the times in my life,
gotten me thru some of the best,
and the worst
Without it,
I wouldnt be who I am,
and I'm sure that you wouldnt either.

Life is nothing without music.
A life without it is empty
beyond measure.
Life is meant to be lived.
You are meant to love...
And to dance.
Music is the soundtrack to all of that,
and I am more than grateful
to have it in my life.


How To Keep Your Girl Happy

There's many ways you can keep your girl happy..
but the wonderful Tony Starks
Ghostface Killah
has broken it down for all you men
that just dont seem to know what to do.

Ghostface's 'Wizdom of the Week' #3 from on Vimeo.

Yall cant say no one ever told you..
because Ghost has laid it out,
Shaolin-style. ;)


Thursday, August 20, 2009


Its been a long time..
I shouldn't have left you..
With a dope blog for you to read thru..

LOL..pardon me and my random Rakim moment..
and sorry for not updating like I should've been.
Life has been rough lately..
and I've just been trying to process and breathe and not catch a case thru it all.

I'm back..
and once again, here to vent.

Right now, Im feeling like..
all relationships can be tricky at times..
but it feels like the ones I have (with family and friends)
are just...undescribable.
I try to be supportive.
And I try to not to ask for much from anyone.
(hell, I have a problem asking for anything..)
But sometimes,
I feel like..
I'm just not important to those that I love.

Is it that hard to call me?
Or to text me?
Ask me how my day is?
Or if I'm ok?
What about making me feel special?
Feel loved?
Important to you and your life, even..
Must I consistently get at folks..
It feels like I'm reminding them that I'm alive..
here for them in their corner.
Makes me feel insignificant..
and just not important to them.

I've noticed that I've been feeling this way for a minute now.

And it fucking hurts my heart.

And its not just with one person,
its with everyone in my life.

So, what to do now is the question?

I know I will watch this Eagles vs. Colts game tonight..
and ponder on it.

I hope all of you have been well..


Wednesday, July 29, 2009

My Apology For Being A Hater...

Haters. What a provocative word.

The definition of hate is: hate |hāt|
verb [ trans. ]
feel intense or passionate dislike for (someone) : the boys hate each other | he was particularly hated by the extreme right.
• have a strong aversion to (something) : he hates flying | [with infinitive ] I'd hate to live there.
• [with infinitive ] used politely to express one's regret or embarrassment at doing something : I hate to bother you.
intense or passionate dislike : feelings of hate and revenge.
[as adj. ] denoting hostile actions motivated by intense dislike or prejudice : a hate campaign.

In hip hop, the definition of hate is: talking bad about someone, disrespectful-like, because you’re envious of what they have, who they’re dating, their position in life, who they are and where they will be in the future.

And I, Black Barbie, am guilty of the hip hop definition of hating.

I never thought that I would say that - or admit that - much less, to virtual strangers, but it’s the truth and I promised you that.

Who has been the object of my aforementioned hate? None other than “Tiny” Tameka Cottle. Ex-member of 90’s r&b group Xscape. Baby momma & fiance to Clifford “T.I.” Harris. She’s a mother, a wifey, a daughter, and a friend to her circle. And I’ve been hating on her. My hate has consisted of talking shit about her, on messageboards and blogs anytime a picture of her was posted up (whether she looked cute or not) or a thread was made in her honor (and most times, they were talking shit about her too..). In a way, my talking about her and her choices could be looked at like I thought that I was better than her..and really, isn’t that what the essence of “hating” really is?

*sidenote* Hating consists of jealousy and when you think you’re better than someone else. I could not like your shoes, and say so, but I don’t need to throw you shade because of it! A bitch at the club, rolling her eyes at you and your outfit, is hating. She could be jealous of the way you look, what you have on, how you’re bottle popping, or just your pure essence..that is just a jealous bitch hating. However, hating IS NOT just you simply having an opinion, like some make it out to sound..*end sidenote*

So, why the hate? And why am I admitting it now? Well, I saw a S2S interview that Tiny did with Jamie Foster Brown and I realized that I was sipping on some serious hater-ade koolaid, and for what? Ok, admittedly, the girl isn’t the cutest woman that I’ve ever seen. (To take words out of one of my girlfriend’s mouth, she is quite unfortunate looking.) But guess what? Tip finds her attractive. Takes care of her. Has kids with her. And has built a life with her. So, who am I to talk? *shrugs* And she has Tip - case closed. She has a very interesting sounding speaking voice, but guess what? Chick has won more awards with Xscape, than me and you ever have, or possibly will. She’s toured all around the world and (lets be real here) folks have bought her albums, paid cash money to hear her sing in concert, can I talk? Her fashion sense isn’t one that I’d personally like to copy but hell, I’m sure that someone out there has seen me out-and-about one day and thought the same exact fucking thing. So why am I following the crowd on these blogging/entertainment websites and talking shit about her when hell, I’m not perfect my damn self??

Then, I got sucked into watching the "Tiny and Toya" show on BET. And I had to respect her because that woman rides hard for her man. What she shows is one of the truest and realest forms of unconditional love that anyone can show to another. She's made choices (whether we all agree with them or not) that are for the best in her relationship. She puts him and her family first. No matter what, she loves that man and is in that relationship with him, standing by him through all his trials and tribulations. To have and experience that type of love is a blessing and I can't do anything but respect her for being strong enough to do that and endure all that she has.

I watched those the interviews and the show, and realized that I was hating on a woman that has chosen her life and lives it the best way that she knows how. She seemed very honest, funny and focused on her future (& her family’s future) in the interviews, and I realized that if I knew her, we’d probably be friends. So why the hate? And I realized...there was no reason for it. I may not agree with what she wears, or how she wears her hair, or if she chooses to stay with a man that (reportedly) cheats on her constantly...but there’s no reason to talk shit about lil mama..because I ain’t perfect either.

So, I raise my glass of diet coke to Tiny, and apologize. I will no longer hate on you for no reason. However, if you do wear something out the will, or have some interesting ass hairdo, Imma have to speak on it. But it wont be because I think I’m better than you or that I’m jealous of you, because I’m not. It’ll just be because I want you to do and be and look better..for you to be a better woman. And hell, shouldn’t we all want that for each other anyways?


Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Such a Surreal Day...RIP Michael Jackson

Today was a monumental (and surreal, for the majority of us) day in the music industry, because Michael Jackson was laid to rest. His impact on our world is immeasurable, but so is his impact on the music industry as a whole, including hip-hop. Every rapper (and singer) has a MJ memory, a favorite MJ song – he’s touched everyone’s life at some point, at one time, in some way. His music has been sampled by Nas, Naughty by Nature, De La Soul, Ghostface Killah, Big Pun, Tupac, Puff Daddy, SWV and countless others. He’s collaborated with many hip hop artists, including Heavy D. Hell, even Jay-Z brought him out at NYC’s Hot97’s Summerjam, damn near reminding the younger generation as to why he was the undisputable King of Pop and why he should be acknowledged as such. He opened doors and broke down barriers in this music business for everyone of color – his was the first video by an African-American to be played on MTV. He broke countless records in the business, including 1 for the Thriller LP (63 million records sold worldwide) that is still standing to this day and for being one of the only artists to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame TWICE. His legacy will live on throughout his music, and so he will never be forgotten, nor can it be ignored.

To all in the music business, you should be lucky to have 1/10th of his genius and incredible gift, 1/10th of his soul, 1/10th of his longevity in this business and 1/10th of the way he could touch his fans and make them love him, support him & revere him.

We should not mourn him, but instead we should appreciate all he’s done for the music industry, including hip-hop and thank God that we were blessed to able to see and experience such a talented man in our lifetime..his legacy lives on through us. Lets make Michael proud. We should all aspire to achieve such greatness.

Here's my favorite Jacksons' video ~ "Can You Feel It"


Tuesday, June 30, 2009

The Concept of Family

Family is defined in the dictionary as
"a group of people related to each other by blood or marriage."
And that,
along with a convo I recently had is my topic for today.

Me and my family have never been very close,
for many reasons.
One of them being that I was taught by my mother
that was goes on in our house should stay in our house.
Now, while I didnt always agree with that philosophy as a kid,
or adhere to it,
It did cause a rift between me and the rest of my fam.
Also, Im a bit of a loner,
and most people fail to understand me,
including my family
so that definitely plays a part in it.
While I love them..
I may not particularly like them all.
But we are FAMILY, regardless of all the bullshit that has occurred between us,
and I love them regardless.

Growing up,
I always wanted a close knit family like the Huxtables.
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Two parents.
Without no real drama.
Loving and supporting their kids.
While maintaining the love they had for each other.
I prayed every night for such normalcy..
its all I ever wanted as a kid.
But I grew up..
and realized that just like me, life is imperfect.
TV can show the good times..
give me an ideal..
but real life will always show me the reality.
Sometimes things ARENT so perfect.
And relationships and families can fall apart.
But fear should never stop me from trying to attain my dream.
And I knew that one day, I would have a family..
maybe not in the traditional sense.
But I would have the family that I needed.

And it came to be that over the years,
my family has consisted of my true friends,
because they've been there at my highest and lowest times.
They've held me when I've cried,
supported me thru everything I've been thru or subjected myself to.
They've been my foundation.
As I've been theirs.
They are my angels,
and I can undoubtedly say that without them,
I wouldnt be here today
or be the person that I am.
Without them,
I wouldnt have the values, the morals that I have.
I wouldnt have learned how to balance my checkbook.
But most importantly,
I wouldnt have learned the meaning of true, unconditional love
from them.

Family comes in many shapes and forms.
We are not all blessed to have the one that we want or desire,
but that doesnt take away from the lessons that we can learn from our families,
whether they are related to us,
or just mean the world to us like our friends.

I thank God for my family ~ by blood, by marriage and by friendship.
And to the newest member of my family,
I'll always be there for you because
you are truly my family member now.
Never forget that.
We can have what we dream
If we work for it.


Monday, June 15, 2009

Who Said That Rappers Arent Funny?

Monday fukkery at its finest..
Provided by Slaughterhouse and

Even the hardest of dudes have a sense of humor.


Thursday, June 11, 2009

The Big O..

So...last night I was having a conversation with some folks about orgasms.
More specifically, if guys can tell if a woman fakes them,
and why a woman would fake them.

Listen ladies,
there is no reason to fake an orgasm.
If you aren't getting yours..
why lead the dude on?
Because of his ego?
You wanna make HIM feel better?
Fuck him! Especially if you didn't get yours!
There is no reason to get nekkid,
to give your body to someone,
to not give AND receive, feel me?
Tell him what you like/dislike..
Tell him what you need..
And if you don't get yours..don't lie.
Because then, that dude thinks he's done something right.
And will continue to do that dumb shit over and over and over again..
And then, you'll never reach those orgasmic heights that you're trying to reach.
His ego will be ok.
And if it isnt..*shrugs* at least you arent a liar.

For all my dudes,
if you really wanna know if a girl has reached that climatic pleasure point?
See if her leg shakes and her toes curl.
If her pussy thumps & contracts..
Or shakes uncontrollably and she cant remember doing it?
If she cries..
If she has a moment where she has to stop in the middle, and lets out a long pleasurable sigh..
She offers you money..
Or she loves your ass no matter how much of an asshole you are to her..

yeah, you made her cum.

Hope you all enjoyed my orgasm tutorial..
take what i say to heart,
and trust,
your time in the bedroom will be way more fulfilling.


Wednesday, June 10, 2009


Thats really all I can do at this point.
I'm the strong one, the one that everyone else depends on.
But who can I depend on?
Who's there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on?

Sometimes I'm not as strong as I appear to be.
Really, Im not.


Thursday, June 4, 2009

When you need a laugh..

...i swear, there's nothing better than Youtube.

I present to you,
Bert & Ernie Rapping..
to M.O.P.

And in honor of the game tonight,
here's dwight howard..
dancing to 1 of his favorite songs.

I know you laughed.


Monday, May 25, 2009

Sometimes I Wish That...

Sometimes I wish that..
people could read my mind.
see my heart.
know my intentions.

Sometimes I wish that..
I could do the same with others.

Sometimes I wish that..
I could hear I that I'm the one.
That I'm special to that one person.
And know that it was heartfelt.

Sometimes I wish that..
all the negativity I've experienced in past relationships
would just vanish.
And that his could too.
Life, and our love, would be so much simpler that way.

Sometimes I wish that..
I didn't feel like that.
Because I know our past has made us who we are today.
And is the reason why we're so drawn to each other.

Sometimes I wish that..
All of the above and so much more..
but now Im just wishing that I could be with him.


Sunday, May 24, 2009

Monie In The Middle...

This right here just made my day...

Gotta luv Monie Love...


Saturday, May 23, 2009

I Cant Forget New Jersey..

I don't know why it's so hard for folks
to realize that yes, I am a chick.
A girly-girl by most folks standards..
but I love hip-hop.
It lives in me,
its my soundtrack to my life..
Without it, I don't know how I'd live.
And while i'm not in the industry
(nor do I want to
without it,
I wouldn't be the same.
My memories (from childhood to my teenage years to adulthood)
are filled with hip hop.
I've loved it since I first heard it..'s a dedication to the music I grew up hearing..
All Jersey Artists...
Garden State Stand UP!!

Naughty By Nature ~ Uptown Anthem

Apache ~ Gangsta Bitch

Nikki D ~ Daddy's Little Girl (live)

Lords of the Underground ~ Here Come The Lords

Queen Latifah ~ Just Another Day

Poor Righteous Teachers ~ Rock Dis Funky Joint

Redman ~ Time 4 Sum Aksion


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Happy Birthday B.I.G.

In honor of The Notorious B.I.G.'s Birthday
I present to you..
The Brady Bunch ~ Notorious B.R.A.D.Y.

Happy Birthday BIG.
RIP ~ May 21, 1972 - March 9, 1997


Wednesday, May 13, 2009

New Music Wednesday

I've been slipping on the new music posts, I know..
but there's new heat out that you NEED to hear!

AP the Prince
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Monarchy 2 Mixtape
Download it here ~

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Mr. Robotic ~ New Single
Download here ~

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Successful (Rmx) ~ New Single
Download here ~

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Dopeman f/Nicki Minaj & Pusha T ~ New Single
Download here ~

Enjoy and Support These Artists!!


Monday, May 11, 2009

Happy Mother's Day..

..via SNL's "Mother Lover" skit.
Not as funny as "Dick in a Box"
..but still funny nonetheless.

Happy Mother's Day!


Sunday, May 3, 2009

Open Letter #1...

Sometimes, you have to get things/thoughts/feelings off your chest..
And the easiest way to do it is to write a letter..
So, this open letter is to my love..

He knows who he is.

It was very easy to fall in love with you,
despite whatever reservations I had about our differences.

You were not who I was looking for.
Hell, I wasn't even looking..
I didn't even want to be in a relationship, much less fall in love.
I thought that true love would never come to me, due to the fact that I thought I had it a few times in the past..
only to be let down and heartbroken time and time again..
But, I realized that my life would be empty without you in it,
So i had to give you that chance.
I had to give US that chance,
and take that risk.

And it hurt.
The pain of actually opening up my heart to you hurt so much,
because I knew that you could reject it,
reject me..
reject my love.
But I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try.
And now, I can honestly say that I'm happy that I did.

You've tried to push me away, time and time again.
And what you've said during those times hurts.
Its wounded my heart.
Your words have made me cry.
But I've let that pain go because I
know where its coming from.
You're afraid,
same as I was.
You've been hurt.
Same as me.
I know that sometimes its much easier to push someone away
rather than to let them get too close,

out of fear.
Fear of them disappointing you.
Or hurting you even further than you've already been hurt.
Or even breaking your heart.
But when you attempt to distance yourself away from me,
I see it for what it is..

and all I want to do is shield you from the pain..
Love you harder,
protect your heart..
and treat it like it was mine..
So that you can see that there is another way..
There are women out there that are loyal and faithful and honest..
And don't want anything from you but to love you.

I can't predict the future.
And I don't know if we'll make it to the end,
whatever end that may be.
I don't even know why you love me,
when there are so many others you could have..
But I'm honored, blessed and lucky that you picked me to be with you.
I promise that I'll never lie to you.
I'll always be there for you.
I'll treat your heart as if it was mine.
And I'll make sure that if there is nowhere else you can find peace,
you can always find it with me.
I'll always fight for you,
for us,
our relationship..
because you're worth it to me,
and nothing will ever change that.
I see the best & the most wonderful qualities in you that you can't even see in yourself,
and it makes me adore you more.
Without you in my life, my world would be empty.
My heart would be empty.
So I'll be here for you as long as you want me.
Mind, body and soul..
I love you.


Friday, May 1, 2009

The G.O.A.T.

For those who don't know,
I'm a HUGE boxing fan..
And I'm a (in a semi~nerd kinda way) chick that loves Muhammad Ali..
I heard that a new movie was being done about him,
and I got incredibly scared..
But then...

I found out that it would be told in an extremely different way,
because its told by all the opponents that Ali has fought.
George Foreman.
Larry Holmes.
Earnie Shavers.
George Chavulo.
Sir Henry Cooper.
And his rival..Joe Frazier (Philly Stand UP!!).

I'm more excited about this movie than I am about buying a new pair of shoes..
(and we ALL know how much I like my shoes...)

And trust, when THIS movie comes out..
I'll be the first one in line.


Tuesday, April 28, 2009

This Right Here..

Makes my soul smile..

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Meth & Red ~ Dangerous MC's
[DOWNLOAD] Method Man & Redman - “DANGEROUS MCs”
(and they have the BIG sample on there too?!?)

Real hip hop.
So Crazy.
Waiting for Blackout 2 to drop on May 19th..


Monday, April 27, 2009

Can I Live..

Life has been royally kicking me in the ass for the past two weeks.
I've had more difficult conversations..
I've cried more tears..
I've been more scared than I've EVER been in my 25+ years on this earth..
And just when I think it can't get any worse,
it does.

I've lost many friends during this time.
I've been lied to, betrayed, deceived..and even yelled at.
I mistrust those that "supposedly" love me.
And I feel more alone than I've ever felt in my life.

I'm the type thats always there for other people,
so it hurts especially bad when folks aren't there for me.
Or, when they are but it feels like they're doing it just to be nice..
Or just to say that they did it, so that in the future they can ask me for something..

I'm not built like that..
So I cant understand that.
And it hurts even more because of it.

I have seen who is there for me..
Who truly does love me..
I've been sent a couple of angels to let me know to keep the faith,
to show me that good people really are out there.
People that truly love me, and have my best interests at heart..

I was just told by one of those angels that..
"God wouldn't bring someone like me THIS far,
sew together all my wounds,
nurse me back to health..
Just to take me from away from those that love me."

I hope that angel is right..
and I hope that is the lesson to be learned out of all of this.

Soundtrack of My Life:
Can I Live ~ Jay-Z
Regrets '09 ~ Lyriciss
Keep the Faith ~ Faith Evans
Regrets ~ Jay-Z
Everyday Struggle ~ The Notorious BIG


Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Ahhh..The Meaning of the Purple Tape Revealed..

Anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a music fiend.
Some would describe me as a hip hop head (that wears stilettos, of course).

And, I've always loved Raekwon's "Built for Cuban Linx"..
*as you can see by the "Incarcerated Scarfaces" video at the top of my page*
Finally, Raekwon revealed WHY the original cassette tape was purple in the video below.
(I couldn't have been the only one that wondered why that

Ahh..true hip hop awaits with the release of "Only Built for Cuban Linx Pt. 2"..
I can't wait!!!

Soundtrack of My Life (WuTang Edition):
Incarcerated Scarfaces ~ Raekwon
Protect Ya Neck ~ WuTang
Bring the Pain ~ Method Man
The Abduction ~ Tony Touch f/WuTang
Apollo Kids ~ Ghostface Killah
All I Need ~ Method Man f/Mary J. Blige


Why Does It Hurt So Bad..

Sometimes, relationships..all relationships can cause pain.
Its even worse when you look back on your past, and realize that its been nothing but failed relationship after another.
You've given yourself, your ALL to a person ~ seemingly all in vain.
You start to feel unworthy of a relationship.
Unworthy of love.

I've come to realize that is truly not the case.
Everything in life happens for a reason ~ those relationships FAILED for a reason.
They were not the right person for you.
Those relationships were placed in your life to teach you a lesson.
The pain is meant to strengthen you.
It prepares you, your heart and your mind.
The pain shows what you what you are made of, what you can withstand.

And you are supposed to learn from it ~ what you want out of a relationship, what you want out of your better half ~ what you need...
So that when that right person comes along,
You can love and be loved the way you need to sustain your heart.

Let go of the bitterness,
The shackles that bind your heart.
And open your mind and heart to the possibilities that can be out there for you.
Its hard to do,
but worth it in the end.

Remember ~ insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting to get a different result.
So, try my advice.


Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Lindsay Lohan's eHarmony Video Dating Profile..

Funniest shit I've seen all day..

Glad to see she has a sense of humor about it all..
Hope she gets her life together..*sigh*


Friday, April 10, 2009

My Apologies...

This morning, I woke up and swore I was gonna start my 3 days of "speaking my mind without any regard to people's feelings".
Because I'm the type that (secretly) loves everyone, wants to help everyone, wants to see everyone succeed. I'm the type that will give someone I love my last dollar and not eat if it means that they'll be okay.
So... you can see how this giving nature can have a tendency to fuck me over on even my best day.
I've learned over the years how to walk away from people, see the signs that someone is using me, to make sure that I'm ok before giving to someone else..but still, I get played regardless.
And this morning, I just got fed up with it (pent up feelings are a bitch, i tell ya)..and decided to combat those negative feelings by (honestly) not being true to myself ~ by putting more negativity into the world instead of the love that I always do.
I decided not to care about others feelings, thinking that would make me feel better..
but instead..I was shown another way.

The ceiling just literally fell down.
I just got a call from a friend of mine.
I was about to cuss my friend out for not responding to my text messages & phone calls..and he tells me that..
His dad died today.

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I cant think of it as ANYTHING BUT a sign from my higher power..
Telling me its okay to love too hard. To care too much. To value my friends and family above all else because you never know what will happen to them at any time.

As much as I feel unappreciated at times, unloved at times, battered and bruised and praying that God would take the hurt and pain away from me during other times..
I know that those core people in my life do love me. And do value me.
They need me as much as I need them.
And I love you all.

Sorry for letting the negativity overtake me.
Please forgive me.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

I Wish...

..I could fuck every girl in the world..

I know I should be ashamed to like this song, but dammit ~ its a guilty pleasure of mine..
Its sooo wrong,it's right.


Sunday, March 29, 2009

I'm Not Scared of Lions, Tigers & Bears...

Sometimes the loneliness is so palpable that I could scream..
Its most felt at the times that I allow myself to cry.
If only I could be the one to let go,
To put myself out there,
To give all of me and know that I would get the same in return.
I want to, I swear I do ~ there's nothing more I want in this world...
Should I with you is the question that begs to be answered.
If I try, will I regret it?
Or will I regret it if I dont try at all?

Imma just let Jazmine speak for me...
and promise to at least try, for the one that is worth my love.


Monday, March 23, 2009

New Music Mondays..

For those who know me personally, you know I love being up on the new & latest things...

So, because I love the brand new, and I love all of yall, I've decided to create New Music Mondays ~ sharing the best & brightest brand new hip hop artists that you might not have heard yet.

Lyrics are important to me, and both of my 1st two new artists you need to get acquainted with are prolific with it!

So, without any further ado....

Introducing ~ PHZ-Sicks

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
From: VA

Myspace Page:

Current Mixtape: The Feature Presentation -

Current Song: The Return -

Introducing ~ Lyriciss

Image and video hosting by TinyPic
From: DMV

Myspace Page:

Personal Blog:

Current Mixtape: The Day Job ~

Current Song: Go Hard f/X.O. & Pro'Verb presents "Go Hard"- AB The Producer feat. XO, Pro'verb and Lyriciss from KENNY BURNS on Vimeo.

Listen to their music.
Feel who they are.
Support their music.


Thursday, March 19, 2009

Look Thru My Eyes..

And see my twitter observations..

I’ve been on twitter for a while now, and I’ve noticed a few things.

1. I have many more male followers than female ones.

but that only happened because...

If you’re a female with a face picture up of yourself, then more people pay attention to you and add you ~ no matter if you tweet obsessively or just once or twice a day.

I originally only had a pic up of my eyes and forehead ~ changed it to a pic of my face and I swear, my followers fucking tripled.

2. Dudes on twitter are hella aggressive. And sensitive.

If they speak to you and you don’t respond (which could be for various reasons) then they’ll send you messages asking why you didn’t respond to them. Or they’ll send you a DM (direct message) which lemme tell you....

3. Direct messages are the debil.

I’ve had dudes arguing with me in them about why I ignored them, had folks send me links to web pages that have pic of their dicks on there, I’ve gotten one night stand offers, relationship offers, a marriage proposal (that may or may not be serious ~ I’m not really trying to find out) and countless other fukkery items that I’ve blocked from my memory simply so spazz out I wouldn’t delete my twitter account.


4. You can really meet some interesting folks on there, and possibly make a friend or two.

There are folks on twitter that I speak to everyday. If I don’t update one day, they’re trying to reach out to me to make sure that I’m ok. Hell, my own family doesn’t even do that..And, every rapper (both famous and not-so-famous), hip-hop journalist, PR executive, popular website writer, hip hop enthusiast, video vixen and all their mommas are on twitter too.

5. But you must realize that twitter is just twitter..and not take everything so personal.

I’ve seen folks delete a person just because they didn’t like the fact that a person put up a nekkid picture of Sanantonio Holmes (which mind you, is incredibly google-able and the person who put it up edited the hell outta that pic to make it PG-13). Or if they don’t agree with 1 thing someone says, they’ll delete them (which has been happening during this whole Chrianna fiasco). Listen, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And if you loved them all other 200 days you’ve been following them, why get mad over the two of you not sharing 1 opinion?? Folks can be extra-sensitive on there, which makes me very concerned about them and their real lives off the internet. Which leads us to my last observation...

6. Twitter has many haters.

I’ve gotten many dm’s from chicks that have said that I’m not as cute as I apparently think I am ~ that they’re flyer ~ more “Barbie” than me...whatever. And as I’ve deleted their messages without even responding, I thank God for them. Because just like my dude Katt said, I’m just trying to do me, boo boo. But I will reach the maximum amount of haters before summer time at the same time because of it..

All in all, I really do love twitter ~ even with its stalkerish implications. But using it as a dating service is a no-no. Folks, this is not, eharmony, blackplanet or any other dating site that you wanna use but don’t wanna pay money for (cheap asses). Stalking folks on it is a double no-no. Finding someone you wanna be like on there and imitating them to the point that you think that now you are them is a triple no-no.

So to everyone, tweet at your own risk, and enjoy. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. Lol

Soundtrack of My Life:
So Gone ~ Brutha
Every Girl ~ Lil Wayne f/Drake, Jae Millz, Gudda & Mack Maine
Fancy ~ The-Dream
Put It In the Bag ~ Fabolous f/The-Dream


Friday, February 13, 2009

My V-Day Rant...

*ugh* I hate Valentine’s Day. I hate all the candy and cards and smooching folks in the streets that think that just because they’re in love, the whole damn world wants to see it. But since I’ve been bombarded with V-day’s approaching date, I began to think about love..and what I think is the most important love we can have (besides those of us that have kids). I realized that so many folks are out there tryin to get themselves a valentine that they’re ignoring themselves..all I hear is shit like this...

“Damn, I’m so ugly..its no wonder no one loves me.”

“If I just lost a little weight, maybe he’d like me.”

Here’s the reality ~ You take yourself with you wherever you go. Like Naughty by Nature said “No matter where you go, there you are..” So tell me, are you happy with you? Can you look in the mirror and be happy with yourself or do you HAVE to lie to make the image that appears more appealing and pleasing to yourself? Are you in love with you?

Its been a struggle to fully and honestly love myself. I can admit, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. In the past, I’ve lied, cheated and stolen to get what I wanted ~ be it things or people. I’ve degraded myself, humiliated myself and been at the lowest of all lows, all in the quest to gain the almighty dollar. At that point in my life, when I looked into the mirror, I never liked what I saw. I nitpicked ~ at my body, my hair, my face ~ but subconciously what I was really nitpicking at was myself, inside. I didn’t like who I was, or what I’d become ~ I knew that I was better than that, worth more than anything I was doing or thinking ~ but that pain of who I’d become somehow became like a security blanket. It was what I held on to, to keep me in that same negative place.

And then one day, I looked in the mirror and started to cry. It wasn’t that I hated what I looked like, I hated who I was. That was the day that I decided to stop lying to myself. I wasn’t ugly or fat or unworthy of a good, healthy relationship. The reality was that I had to love me. That, regardless of any and everything I had done wrong, I had to forgive myself. I had to simply move on. I couldn’t beat myself up (or let others emotionally abuse me) or feel like no one would like me or love me due to my past. I realized that it didn’t matter what others would think as long as I loved myself.

See, when you love yourself, you treat yourself in a higher regard. You choose the right path for you, and you alone, because you’re in tune with yourself. The world is a better place ~ the energy you put out is more positive ~ so positivity follows you. You may go through trials and tribulations (we all do) but you can handle them, and you know that you can handle them, so even in their outcome you find joy. Peace. Happiness...You find love.

I found that love, in myself, and one day I hope that all my friends and readers of my blog will find it in themselves as well. No matter what ~ you are enough. No matter what you’ve done in the past, it can never define your future, unless you let it. No one is perfect..but you can find that perfect you. And once you do, I guarantee, you’ll find it with another.

Happy Valentine’s Day.


Thursday, February 5, 2009

Get em Girl! dude 50 is the talk of the internet, yet again, due to his beef with Ricky Ross (who will now before referred to in my blog as Officer Rawse..keep up or get left behind 50 can (and will always be guaranteed to) take things to the next level, but no one expected what he did a couple of days ago. Dude not only interviewed Officer Rawse’s baby moms, Tia, about Rawse being a correctional officer, but took her and a friend shopping on NYC’s 5th Avenue AND signed lil mama to a book deal. All of this was meant to (obviously) destroy Officer Rawse’s career and amuse the hell outta 50, but a lot of folks are failing to realize that *Now* Tia is the one that has truly gained from this situation. She came up from nothing to something all in the course of 1 day, but the internet is going crazy..Folks are saying that she’s wrong for talking to 50, that she looked thirsty as hell trying on those furs and that she was nothing but a gutterbutt trollup on the come up. Well, Tia DID come up and more power to her for doing so. How can anyone be mad at her? She followed all codes ~ and in the end, she’s coming out a hell of a lot better than Officer Rawse.

The best part of this saga to me IS that she did follow the code. Tia knew that at the end of the day, talking to 50 might be more problems than what the situation was worth. So she picked up the phone, called her baby daddy and told him what was going on so that he’d be aware. She respected that man when she had no true need to, besides the fact that they have a child together. And Officer Rawse was an asshole to her until the very end, which ended up biting him in his black, obese ass. He encouraged her to talk to 50 and has said in an interview with Miss Info ( “she’s never made more than $300 a week in her life, so how can I stand in the way of her getting money?”. That asshole way of thinking is where Rawse signed his death certificate and rose her stock all in one fell swoop..lemme show yall how.

Delilah and Solomon. Eve and Adam. Divine Brown and Hugh Grant. All wonderful examples of how chick’s can be a dude’s downfall. Normally in these situations, its a chick tryin to lie, manipulate and deceive in order to get a come up. But In Officer Rawse’s case, that isnt the story because this partially is of his own doing. Fatty tittayballs has really gotten high on his horse, hasn’t he? Talking junk about his baby moms? Dude, if she’s only making $1200 a month, and yall are stlll fighting over child support (which has currently been going on for 2 years), how is she adequately taking care of your child? Did Rawse even care or think about that? While he’s out there, flossin in videos with (allegedly) rented chains, whips, houses and furs, eating steaks and skrimps and shit, his child’s probably eating peanut butter and jelly sandwiches every night, while his momma provides for him the best way she can, or knows how to. More likely than not, she worrying and wondering about how she’s going to clothe her child, keep lights on in the house and how they’re going to survive while Rawse is out there living the life of rap’s quintessential d-boy. And Officer Rawse makes fun of that? He practically pushed her into the arms of his new (and already known to be) ruthless enemy and try to be greasy with his words all at the same time? Dude really thought that was a good idea?

Well now...Tia came up. Got not only a fur (which admittedly when she put it on, she did look like someone that been starved for 15 years and had just taken her first bite of a ham sammich with cheese and mustard), some Gucci shades and shoes and a free trip to NYC but, Mama got a book deal. She’s gained the ability to provide a better life for her and her son, which has empowered her more than any of us can ever think of. So while everyone’s talking about how wrong she was, I salute her. Tia, your baby daddy was a lying asshole, who gave you to the enemy thinking that you weren’t about shit, wasn’t gonna do shit and wasn’t worth a damn to him. But damn babygirl, you sure showed him the error of his ways..Get em girl!!

Soundtrack of My Life:
I'll Whip Your Head Boy ~ 50
Mafia Music ~ Officer Rawse
Get em Girl ~ Camron
Ladies First ~ Queen Latifah & Monie Love


Thursday, January 29, 2009

Lil Wayne & Katie Couric

Am I the only one wondering why Katie's interviewing him??
Or why he keeps calling her "Miss Katie"?
Wouldn't Barbara Walters have been a lil more gangsta?

I'm just saying..

Watch CBS Videos Online

Katie Couric's "All Grammy Special" is on CBS on February 4, 2009, at 9 pm.
I will most definitely be tuning in to see the drunk & high ramblings of Wayne..

oh...the fukkery that is becoming 2009.


Am I Wrong?

“You love me. You complete me. You hold my heart in your hands.” ~ Keyshia Cole

Ok, I’m just gonna put this out there - I hated Keyshia Cole’s latest cd, “A Different Me”, so after that first preliminary listen though, I haven’t paid too much attention to it, except for a few (3) songs that played on my ipod. So today, when I saw VH1 Soul playing her new video for “You Complete Me”, I watched it instead of turning immediately or ignoring it on the net like I have been for the past couple of days. And let me tell you, this song has completely pissed me off to no end. *ugh* First, Keyshia sounds so needy and whiny and so thoroughly desperate to be in a relationship that it doesn’t matter what type of dude she’s with..just say that you love her and call her your girlfriend so she can stop singing, please! She’s singing about some man completing her, how she’ll give him anything as long as he stays around for forever...but umm, Keyshia? Isn’t love supposed to be reciprocal? Shouldn’t both of you feel the same way about each other, and not have an unbalanced relationship? Second, and most importantly, the underlying theme of this song is that she isn’t enough and needs the love of a man to complete her...huh?!? (just typing that made me angry..) So it got me to thinking, is love supposed to complete you (as Keyshia’s songwriter so eloquently put it) or are you supposed to be content and happy with who you are, and love is just meant to enhance and accent your already all-around fabulousness?

Think about it - if true love completes you, then you are admitting that you are not enough alone. All that you’ve accomplished, everything that you’ve learned, that you’ve been through, is for nothing. What you’re saying to the world in a nutshell is that you aren’t shit if you don’t have a man. So, is your life over if you’re single? Should you be out in the clubs in something tight, two stepping hard as hell on the manhunt, or on, desperately trying to find that 1 person out there that’s meant to be your other half? Should you just take any ole dude that comes along, hoping and praying that he’ll be the one, in an attempt to make yourself feel “whole”? What if that man leaves after a month, or a year, or 10 years? Do you have to go out and find another man to complete you, because you just aren’t enough with a guy? What about your self esteem? What about you? Do I have it wrong? Is love just about the other person, and how they’re so great that you as a person seem to just melt away?


Should you look at love as something that’s meant to enhance your life? As a single person - you have your interests, your career, your family & friends, schooling and life lessons - all of which has shaped who you are. What you’ve become. The things that you’ve accomplished, the trials & tribulations of life that you’ve overcome, should be celebrated, not made light of. You should feel proud of yourself, your self-esteem should be high enough to realize that you, and you alone, are amazing and that any man would be lucky enough to have you - not to complete you. Shouldn’t you already be enough? A prize for someone to win? Why would you even consider putting yourself down by admitting you’re nothing without a man, when you’ve accomplished so much without one?

I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong in my way of thinking. All I know is that I’d hate to feel like I wasn’t enough for anyone. I’ve been there, done that - and that insecurity will eat away at you and poison the relationship until it withers and dies. (note to Keyshia - is that what really happened between you and Jeezy??) Besides, the only person that you can truly depend on is yourself. If you put that burden completely 100% onto another person, they’d definitely crack under the pressure, and end up leaving you alone, so you’d end up with yourself anyways. I’d rather believe that love is meant to accent my life - make my sunny days a lil brighter and all that - instead of falling into that “please complete me” trap. *shrugs* Maybe its just me, but I’ve always thought that you have to love yourself completely before you could ever love anyone else. And maybe that’s the key - the only love that should be complete is the love that you give yourself, because without that, how can you truly know what love is anyways?

(ps.. I hope Keyshia finds that love within herself, and stops *allegedly* stalking Jeezy. Obviously lil mama, he does NOT wanna complete you.)

Soundtrack of My Life:
You Complete Me ~ Keyshia Cole
I Need Love ~ LL Cool J
Love ~ Musiq Soulchild
Love Is f/Brian McKnight ~ Vanessa Williams


Saturday, January 24, 2009

Sign 'O The Times

Technology has truly turned the dating game on one helluva axis. Hell, I'm under the assumption that its truly fucked it all up to be damned. With the inventions of myspace, facebook, email, text messaging, picture mail, google and online dating (*whew*), navigating the hallowed halls of dating and relationships can be quite confusing for even the most experienced of us. And its become even easier to misconstrue a facebook/myspace message or relationship status, or even a simple text message, all because we read so much into them - wondering, "does this mean what I think this means?".

Case in point - before, folks used to give out their number and wait for the receiver of that number to call. That used to cause a lot of waiting by the phone, wondering if so-and-so would call..Either they would or they wouldn't, and the story would move on. Well now? When you meet a person, they may ask for your number first, but more likely than not, they're asking if you have a myspace or facebook page!! Why? So they can befriend you - and see what you've written on that page, your blogs, your pictures and your friends (or the lack thereof..). And if that fails, they can always google you to dig up dirt about you! Some folk (if you don't already know this) decide whether or not to fuck with you, or how they're gonna characterize you (wifey material/jumpoff) just off of that alone! (And I'm not even gonna talk about if you have those pages non-private, because that's just opening up another slithery can of dating worms...)

Also, with myspace/facebook/twitter, its sooooooo much easier for a person to either: a) stalk the shit out of you or b) ignore you completely and wonder what's wrong with you and what you possibly could've done wrong to them. The 1st one, stalking, is self explanatory but kind of ties into the 2nd one, as does self-esteem. How many times have you met someone, went out on a couple of dates with them and then they just disappeared - not answering your calls, texts or emails? In the old days, you'd block your number and call their house, or if you were really kooky, you were one of those drive-past-their-house-on-some-late-night-seek-and-find-mission, remember?? Well, what's most folks logical next step nowadays? If you guessed myspace/facebook/twitter, then you've guessed correctly. With these, you can see if they've logged in recently, if they've updated their status or page, their comments, if they've twitted lately or if (God Forbid) they've deleted you from their friends list. You can literally drive yourself crazy, cyberstalking someone, wondering all the "what ifs" and "whys" - especially if you can (virtually) keep track of their every move everywhere that you go.

My problem mostly lies with some folks who take the punk route - and their 1st convo with you (after that 1st initial meeting) is a myspace/facebook/text message..What part of the game is that? I'm not gonna go back and forth with ANYONE for longer than 5 minutes in any kind of messaging service, just because you wanted to take the "easy" way out to contact me. Man the fuck up and call me! Hear my voice and let me hear yours! Besides, when we talk on the phone, we avoid some of these dreadful miscommunications that can happen through messaging.

Now, I know that I'm not the only one this has happened get a text message during the day from whoever you're crushing on and you're all excited. The convo starts out innocently enough, but then somehow, everything goes left, all because 1 person misunderstood what the other was trying to say and took offense to it. Guess what folks, that ish wouldn't happen if you picked up the damn phone! You can hear and know when someone's joking or when they're serious by the inflections in their voice - their tone - something that no messaging service can ever replicate.

Lets not even get started on picture messaging - what an easy way for you to play yourself! I hold that in the same regard that I hold homemade sex tapes - just don't do it if you don't truly know or trust the person you're sending it to. Or else you can end up like Prodigy on that Summer Jam screen (Hov!) - embarrassed and pissed off because a pic you never thought would surface is now laid bare (most times on the world wide web) for all to see. Besides...isn't it better for someone to see you and your body parts up close & personal anyways??

That, ultimately, is the true problem with all this new, wonderful technology - its made dating so cold. So impersonal. Either you're jumping into something too fast because you feel like you know them (from either google or their myspace/facebook or their twits on twitter) or you're being confuddled by a confusing message...or both. And its made dating even harder, even more I beg all of you - no matter how you meet a person, whether electronically or in person, after that 1st initial meeting, if they don't call you - let it go and move on. Call it cold or wrong, but they will call you. Which is exactly the point I'm trying to make.

Soundtrack of My Life:
Call Me ~ Tweet
Talk to Em ~ Young Jeezy
Say f/T-Pain ~ Timbaland
Talkin to Me ~ Amerie


About This Blog

This blog is meant to entertain.
To make you shake your head in agreement (or disagreement). To make you laugh, cry, and share with your friends.

Its not meant to offend, so if I do so at any moment, I apologize in advance.

This is just me - my ramblings, my thoughts, my life (or as much of my life as I'm going to give to the world wide web)..

"It is what it is, and what it isn't, it shall never be" ~ Me


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