Monie In The Middle...

This right here just made my day...



Gotta luv Monie Love...

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Why Does It Hurt So Bad..

Sometimes, relationships..all relationships can cause pain.
Its even worse when you look back on your past, and realize that its been nothing but failed relationship after another.
You've given yourself, your ALL to a person ~ seemingly all in vain.
You start to feel unworthy of a relationship.
Unworthy of love.
Unlovable.

I've come to realize that is truly not the case.
Everything in life happens for a reason ~ those relationships FAILED for a reason.
They were not the right person for you.
Those relationships were placed in your life to teach you a lesson.
The pain is meant to strengthen you.
It prepares you, your heart and your mind.
The pain shows what you what you are made of, what you can withstand.

And you are supposed to learn from it ~ what you want out of a relationship, what you want out of your better half ~ what you need...
So that when that right person comes along,
You can love and be loved the way you need to sustain your heart.

Let go of the bitterness,
The shackles that bind your heart.
And open your mind and heart to the possibilities that can be out there for you.
Its hard to do,
but worth it in the end.

Remember ~ insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting to get a different result.
So, try my advice.

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I'm Not Scared of Lions, Tigers & Bears...

Sometimes the loneliness is so palpable that I could scream..
Its most felt at the times that I allow myself to cry.
If only I could be the one to let go,
To put myself out there,
To give all of me and know that I would get the same in return.
I want to, I swear I do ~ there's nothing more I want in this world...
Should I with you is the question that begs to be answered.
If I try, will I regret it?
Or will I regret it if I dont try at all?

Imma just let Jazmine speak for me...
and promise to at least try, for the one that is worth my love.

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My V-Day Rant...

*ugh* I hate Valentine’s Day. I hate all the candy and cards and smooching folks in the streets that think that just because they’re in love, the whole damn world wants to see it. But since I’ve been bombarded with V-day’s approaching date, I began to think about love..and what I think is the most important love we can have (besides those of us that have kids). I realized that so many folks are out there tryin to get themselves a valentine that they’re ignoring themselves..all I hear is shit like this...

“Damn, I’m so ugly..its no wonder no one loves me.”

“If I just lost a little weight, maybe he’d like me.”

Here’s the reality ~ You take yourself with you wherever you go. Like Naughty by Nature said “No matter where you go, there you are..” So tell me, are you happy with you? Can you look in the mirror and be happy with yourself or do you HAVE to lie to make the image that appears more appealing and pleasing to yourself? Are you in love with you?

Its been a struggle to fully and honestly love myself. I can admit, I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. In the past, I’ve lied, cheated and stolen to get what I wanted ~ be it things or people. I’ve degraded myself, humiliated myself and been at the lowest of all lows, all in the quest to gain the almighty dollar. At that point in my life, when I looked into the mirror, I never liked what I saw. I nitpicked ~ at my body, my hair, my face ~ but subconciously what I was really nitpicking at was myself, inside. I didn’t like who I was, or what I’d become ~ I knew that I was better than that, worth more than anything I was doing or thinking ~ but that pain of who I’d become somehow became like a security blanket. It was what I held on to, to keep me in that same negative place.

And then one day, I looked in the mirror and started to cry. It wasn’t that I hated what I looked like, I hated who I was. That was the day that I decided to stop lying to myself. I wasn’t ugly or fat or unworthy of a good, healthy relationship. The reality was that I had to love me. That, regardless of any and everything I had done wrong, I had to forgive myself. I had to simply move on. I couldn’t beat myself up (or let others emotionally abuse me) or feel like no one would like me or love me due to my past. I realized that it didn’t matter what others would think as long as I loved myself.

See, when you love yourself, you treat yourself in a higher regard. You choose the right path for you, and you alone, because you’re in tune with yourself. The world is a better place ~ the energy you put out is more positive ~ so positivity follows you. You may go through trials and tribulations (we all do) but you can handle them, and you know that you can handle them, so even in their outcome you find joy. Peace. Happiness...You find love.

I found that love, in myself, and one day I hope that all my friends and readers of my blog will find it in themselves as well. No matter what ~ you are enough. No matter what you’ve done in the past, it can never define your future, unless you let it. No one is perfect..but you can find that perfect love...in you. And once you do, I guarantee, you’ll find it with another.

Happy Valentine’s Day.

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Am I Wrong?

“You love me. You complete me. You hold my heart in your hands.” ~ Keyshia Cole



Ok, I’m just gonna put this out there - I hated Keyshia Cole’s latest cd, “A Different Me”, so after that first preliminary listen though, I haven’t paid too much attention to it, except for a few (3) songs that played on my ipod. So today, when I saw VH1 Soul playing her new video for “You Complete Me”, I watched it instead of turning immediately or ignoring it on the net like I have been for the past couple of days. And let me tell you, this song has completely pissed me off to no end. *ugh* First, Keyshia sounds so needy and whiny and so thoroughly desperate to be in a relationship that it doesn’t matter what type of dude she’s with..just say that you love her and call her your girlfriend so she can stop singing, please! She’s singing about some man completing her, how she’ll give him anything as long as he stays around for forever...but umm, Keyshia? Isn’t love supposed to be reciprocal? Shouldn’t both of you feel the same way about each other, and not have an unbalanced relationship? Second, and most importantly, the underlying theme of this song is that she isn’t enough and needs the love of a man to complete her...huh?!? (just typing that made me angry..) So it got me to thinking, is love supposed to complete you (as Keyshia’s songwriter so eloquently put it) or are you supposed to be content and happy with who you are, and love is just meant to enhance and accent your already all-around fabulousness?

Think about it - if true love completes you, then you are admitting that you are not enough alone. All that you’ve accomplished, everything that you’ve learned, that you’ve been through, is for nothing. What you’re saying to the world in a nutshell is that you aren’t shit if you don’t have a man. So, is your life over if you’re single? Should you be out in the clubs in something tight, two stepping hard as hell on the manhunt, or on match.com, desperately trying to find that 1 person out there that’s meant to be your other half? Should you just take any ole dude that comes along, hoping and praying that he’ll be the one, in an attempt to make yourself feel “whole”? What if that man leaves after a month, or a year, or 10 years? Do you have to go out and find another man to complete you, because you just aren’t enough with a guy? What about your self esteem? What about you? Do I have it wrong? Is love just about the other person, and how they’re so great that you as a person seem to just melt away?

Or..

Should you look at love as something that’s meant to enhance your life? As a single person - you have your interests, your career, your family & friends, schooling and life lessons - all of which has shaped who you are. What you’ve become. The things that you’ve accomplished, the trials & tribulations of life that you’ve overcome, should be celebrated, not made light of. You should feel proud of yourself, your self-esteem should be high enough to realize that you, and you alone, are amazing and that any man would be lucky enough to have you - not to complete you. Shouldn’t you already be enough? A prize for someone to win? Why would you even consider putting yourself down by admitting you’re nothing without a man, when you’ve accomplished so much without one?

I don’t know, maybe I’m wrong in my way of thinking. All I know is that I’d hate to feel like I wasn’t enough for anyone. I’ve been there, done that - and that insecurity will eat away at you and poison the relationship until it withers and dies. (note to Keyshia - is that what really happened between you and Jeezy??) Besides, the only person that you can truly depend on is yourself. If you put that burden completely 100% onto another person, they’d definitely crack under the pressure, and end up leaving you alone, so you’d end up with yourself anyways. I’d rather believe that love is meant to accent my life - make my sunny days a lil brighter and all that - instead of falling into that “please complete me” trap. *shrugs* Maybe its just me, but I’ve always thought that you have to love yourself completely before you could ever love anyone else. And maybe that’s the key - the only love that should be complete is the love that you give yourself, because without that, how can you truly know what love is anyways?

(ps.. I hope Keyshia finds that love within herself, and stops *allegedly* stalking Jeezy. Obviously lil mama, he does NOT wanna complete you.)

Soundtrack of My Life:
You Complete Me ~ Keyshia Cole
I Need Love ~ LL Cool J
Love ~ Musiq Soulchild
Love Is f/Brian McKnight ~ Vanessa Williams

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