My Apologies...

This morning, I woke up and swore I was gonna start my 3 days of "speaking my mind without any regard to people's feelings".
Why?
Because I'm the type that (secretly) loves everyone, wants to help everyone, wants to see everyone succeed. I'm the type that will give someone I love my last dollar and not eat if it means that they'll be okay.
So... you can see how this giving nature can have a tendency to fuck me over on even my best day.
I've learned over the years how to walk away from people, see the signs that someone is using me, to make sure that I'm ok before giving to someone else..but still, I get played regardless.
And this morning, I just got fed up with it (pent up feelings are a bitch, i tell ya)..and decided to combat those negative feelings by (honestly) not being true to myself ~ by putting more negativity into the world instead of the love that I always do.
I decided not to care about others feelings, thinking that would make me feel better..
but instead..I was shown another way.

The ceiling just literally fell down.
I just got a call from a friend of mine.
I was about to cuss my friend out for not responding to my text messages & phone calls..and he tells me that..
His dad died today.



I cant think of it as ANYTHING BUT a sign from my higher power..
Telling me its okay to love too hard. To care too much. To value my friends and family above all else because you never know what will happen to them at any time.

As much as I feel unappreciated at times, unloved at times, battered and bruised and praying that God would take the hurt and pain away from me during other times..
I know that those core people in my life do love me. And do value me.
They need me as much as I need them.
And I love you all.

Sorry for letting the negativity overtake me.
Please forgive me.